I started a new job at the beginning of this month. I left Disney back in January and ended up having an unexpected 3 weeks off before I started this new one.
I took this job knowing that it would be a challenge. But I’m realizing it’s like going to a country when you only kinda know the language, and you’re only understanding about half of what everyone says to you, and only absorbing about half of what you do understand. It’s discouraging knowing that it’s a mountain to climb. I haven’t felt this dumb in a while, but in some ways I’m happy to be where I am. I feel lucky and also I have a lot of respect for the people and teams I work with. I wonder when the anxiety will stop.
I live super close to work and have been able to walk home sometimes. It’s a leisurely 25-minute walk when I take it slow. I’m also able to work from home half the week, but I haven’t yet because I’m still figuring stuff out.
For now I’ve accepted that I can’t know everything right now. I’ll be anxious and confused and constantly questioning, but I just have to be all of those things right now in order to get to the other side.